Wonkette
October 24, 2022 09:40 AM
Have you been having troubles at home? Is your marriage falling apart? Are you suffering from sleep paralysis? Is your kid clumsy? Or sick?
Well, according to some Nice/Incredibly Smug Christian Girl whose name we do not actually know, these things are not normal, they are not caused by germs or external conflict or weak ankles, and they actually only happen to people whose children have been inadvertently cursing them with overpriced plastic toys designed by Satan to teach them how to do witchcraft.
This toy, “Magic Mixies” (Wonkette cut link!), will cost you $96 and features a “magical” cauldron that children are supposed to use exactly one time to “summon” a stuffed animal. Like so!